Finding Release

I really enjoy my new version of therapy these days.  I know I won't shut up about it but Twitter has changed my life forever.  As far a my sexual addictions go I have only found a few things that help me "cope".  Since I literally have NO ONE around me that understands how I feel I've had to find other ways of venting.  This blog is definitely one of them, I am able to organize my thoughts and write down what is constantly clogging up my brain.  I also find release through Twitter.  Twitter is like an alternate universe.  It's where all different types of people can go to empty out their brain's garbage.  In the past I have tried attending the sex addicts version of AA meetings.  But I never felt relief, or release from attending those things.  It's just a group of people crying about how they are so depressed, and so miserable because they simply "can't stop" the behavior.  I always felt even more depressed at the end of each meeting than when I had arrived.  But on Twitter I feel like I am able to joke and say whatever the hell it is that's on my mind at the moment.  Sometimes playing so many different roles can be exhausting for me such as: mother, wife, addict, christian, sinner, lesbian, or loner.  As I discover more about myself I am finding it much easier to produce outlets for the different types of me.

I will be turning 28 in a few months, and I have decided that I will stop holding myself back in life.  I have always let fear run my life.  I always talk myself out of doing things that I may even enjoy just because it might be uncomfortable.  I haven't exactly made a list of what I want to do but I do have a few in mind.  Number one on my unwritten list is getting my first tattoo.  I LOVE tattoos!  I am completely obsessed with them but I try to avoid pain in any way that I can.  I don't want my fear of pain to hold me back from doing what I want to do.  Since my husband and I have been through sooooooooo much these past few years we are planning to get a tattoo together, to symbolize a new chapter in our relationship.  We plan to get them on the day that we go out for my birthday.  I feel both excited and scared, but I know that in the end I will be glad that I did it.

-Mimi